The Larson Family

I’ve had it.

Some months ago, Becky and I are sitting on the couch watching TV late one night. The college kids who rent the house two doors down must have been having a party again because we were hearing drunks walking up and down the sidewalk in front of our house all night. And suddenly we hear a young male voice say, “Shrubbery!”, ah yes, the Monty Python classic, followed by a snapping sound.

I went outside just in time to see a group of about four guys walking up the driveway into their house. And I’m ashamed to say, I didn’t do anything. It was dark, I couldn’t identify anybody, so I didn’t call. We replanted the shrubs in a different area, further from the sidewalk, and planted new, bigger shrubs near the sidewalk.

Last night, Bluto Blutarsky and friends decided to have a rager again, this time an indoor/outdoor party with upwards of 50 people. And when I got up this morning, one of our shrubs was torn out of the ground.

No more Mister Nice Guy.

I went over and photographed the litter and beer bottles they leave around every time they have a party. I photographed the damage the did to my property. I called the police. The Officer who came over took my information, and as we were talking, one of the residents over there backed out of the driveway. The Officer stopped him in the driveway and had a talk with him. The cat’s out of the bag now. They know I’ve complained.

I called the Fargo Police Department’s Property Owner’s Liaison and left a message. My lovely wife Rebecca found the name and address of the property owner (she’s good at that kind of stuff). I sent them a fax. I sent them a letter. And I told them I sincerely hope they’re conscientious property owners who will take whatever measures are necessary to ensure their tenants behave in a neighborly manner.

But I’m not done yet.

Right now I’m cleaning out my video camera, making lots of room. It’s a pretty nice camera. You can acutally set it to record for 32 hours straight. I bought a blindingly bright 150-watt light bulb and installed it over our front step. Tonight (it’s Saturday, maybe they’ll have another party) I’m setting up the camera on a tripod in our living room where it will just be able to see outside through a crack in the blinds. And I will tape all night under the brilliant new light in our front yard.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Hi, it’s me again. Remember two weeks ago when I told you how I’d just changed the headlight bulb in my wife Rebecca’s 2003 Kia Sorento? And remember how I told you we’ve been having a terrible problem with bulbs burning out all the time?

Two nights ago, the driver’s side headlight burned out. This is the same bulb I replaced on November 28th. So I just came back in from changing it. I changed the passenger side brake light while I was out there.

So, for the record, the headlights in the Kia now consist of: passenger side, changed out Feb. 28th, and the driver’s side, replaced today, March 16th, 2010.

Now let’s see which one burns out first. I’m putting my money on driver’s side headlight bulb (it would seem too logical for the older bulb to burn out first) by May 29th.

It’s that time of the year in the Northern states. The deadliest time of the year… first snow. Every year, I’m reminded of the Keystone Kops, and the clown that used to perform during halftime at the ice show. A lot of slippin’ and slidin’ is goin’ down on the streets of Fargo right now.

I saw it on the way to work this morning… fishtailing as you round a corner… nearly sliding off the interstate off-ramp… And the stuff I saw other drivers doing was crazy too.

This time of year. It sneaks up on you. All summer you get accustomed to waiting until the last possible minute to leave for a destination, hopping into the car, and zooming over there as close to the deadline as possible. And it’s easy. And you can drive fast.

Problem is, when winter gets here, it’s hard to break those habits. You gotta warm up the car and/or scrape the windows, make some hot coffee and fill up your travel mug, bundle up for the weather, and finally head out the door to work. Then, on your way to work, you’re going way too fast because you’re behind schedule.

But, everybody does slow down… eventually.

This is my theory. Nobody slows down until they have their first “I Think I Just Shit My Pants” moment. If you live in the North, you know the moment… you’re half way to work, you’ve been in the car ten minutes, and that initial sense of driving awareness you had when you got in the car has been whittled away by radio, cell phone, and a morning smoke.

You turn off the main drag onto a less-traveled street, the intersections controlled with stop signs. You don’t pay attention to your speed. You’re approaching a stop sign, cross-traffic ahead, and you notice your first enemy. A glazed, icy appearance to the hard packed snow in the intersection. You step on the brake… too late. Your momentum is already more than the tires can handle on North Dakota road-lube. Your wheels lock up — You’re sliding. Cars crossing in front of you are seemingly unaware that you’re careening toward their doom. You’re pumping the brakes — or if you have ABS, stomping and steering. The intersection is twenty feet away. Ten feet.

And suddenly, like a miracle from God, the tires catch on something… some gravel, sand from a sand truck, your pride, and you come to rest with your front bumper just into the edge of the instersection. You can see the look on the face of the driver you just narrowly avoided killing. And you realize — “I think I just shit my pants.” The other driver thinks the same thing.

That’s the upside of the “I Think I Just Shit My Pants” moment. It’s for sharing. You can have yours, and at the same time, share it with someone else.

So you both go home, change your pants.

From that moment on, you slow down. You might have a couple of lapses throughout the winter, but even then, you’ll have a few minor panics, nothing major, but it will remind you of “that time earlier this year, when I shit myself.” And then you’ll slow down again.

But this time of year is dangerous, because only a few people have shit their pants so far. So when everybody else shits their pants, then we’ll be safe for the rest of the season.

That’s what I think anyway.

A couple of years ago, we had a problem with the engine in our Jeep Grand Cherokee, and for a while we thought the old bucket had met it’s demise. So, we went car shopping. Rebecca wanted an SUV, and after very little shopping around, we settled for a nice 2003 Kia Sorento EX.

It’s a nice little two-tone black and gold SUV. Four wheel drive, foor door, mid-size SUV — just a touch bigger than a crossover. She likes it, so we’ve been happy with it.

For anybody who might be thinking of buying a Sorento, here’s the skinny. We’ve had no major problems with the vehicle in the couple of years we’ve owned it. But we have experienced some odd/recurring problems you should know about.

First, we had a problem with the engine overheating last winter. I was sure we needed a water pump, but it turned out to be a bizarre — and thankfully less expensive — seal problem on the bottom of the coolant overflow tank. But the stubborn problem that’s been aggravating me to no end is HEADLIGHTs!!!

The bulbs on Becky’s Sorento burn out every nine months. And of course at different times, so you go out and change the left, and three months later, you’re out there changing the right. I just changed the passenger side bulb about two months ago, and the driver side burned out yesterday. And this is easily the fifth or sixth light bulb replacement in the last two years.

I figured I should write it down so next time it happens, I’ll be able to go back and see when I did it last time.

I also ran across some online advice suggesting it may be a bad ground between the fusebox and the fender, so I’ll be checking that out to see if it makes any difference. Keep you posted.

Click Here to read a step-by-step guide to replacing a headlight on a Kia Sorento.