On Friday, Congressman John Boehner claimed his bronzed appearance is one hundred percent natural. “I have never been in a tanning bed or used a tanning product,” said Boehner. He went on to say his mother and four of his twelve siblings also have the sun-kissed glow.
Now, Congressman Boehner’s estranged Aunt Eunice Taylor says she fears for her nephew’s well-being. “Johnny’s denials are beginning to worry me,” says Taylor, 83, from her Del Boca Vista retirement community. “I’m afraid he may be addicted to those damn tanning beds,” she said.
Despite Congressman Boehner’s denials, others are now coming forward with allegations of their own. “I know a guy who saw him coming out of the shower at the country club,” said one man who asked to remain anonymous. “He didn’t have a tan line on him, man. Unless he’s golfing naked…” he said before trailing off with a shudder.
Addiction expert Desiree Lamour says, “An estimated twenty-one percent of Americans use tanning beds today, and ten-percent may use them to excess.”
Boehner’s Aunt Eunice says John’s been fixated on his skin pigment since he was a child. “He came to stay with me for a week one summer,” she says. “It was really quiet in the house, and when I went to investigate, I found Johnny on the porch covered in tanning oil. He used an entire bottle of Coppertone! He was so slippery, I could barely get him in the tub!”
On the topic of addiction, Lamour says “As with every addiction, users need to continually ask themselves whether their habit is interfering with their life — getting them in trouble with the law for example.” And it’s a point which worries Boehner’s Aunt Eunice. “He went on a golf trip to Arizona, and he got profiled by the authorities,” she says choking back tears. “I hope someone can get through to him before it’s too late.”
